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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26426998">Roadkill, rewritten</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/awildone/pseuds/awildone'>awildone</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Schitt's Creek</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:21:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,362</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26426998</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/awildone/pseuds/awildone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Johnny decides to take Moira to the spa. On the way, they see a cat safely cross the road.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Johnny Rose/Moira Rose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Roadkill, rewritten</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Moira flipped through the script on her lap as Johnny drove them down a quiet back road where he finally began to pick up the speed. “Unfortunately for everyone, John, Stevie turned out to be quite the find. She’ll need a lot of direction obviously, but… you know, ballet intensive, perhaps some mittens to curb the nail biting.”</p><p>A bit annoyed with her incessant rambling about the play, Johnny sighed. “Moira, I love the way you pour yourself into your projects. But the whole point of this spa trip was to take a breather from Cabaret.”</p><p>“Yes, John. I promise to enjoy the sixty minutes I’ll spend having my deepest tissues palpated,” she nearly rolled her eyes as she continued to look through her notes. “Then a few sips of cucumber water. Factor in five minutes for you to use the facilities and we’ll be back home by noon.”</p><p>The patriarch gave a look to no one in particular. She had been driving the entire family crazy with her focus on the upcoming show and he decided to take matters into his own hands today. “We’re not rushing through this, Moira. We’ve got an entire day of treatments ahead of us. Today is for slowing down, and getting reacquainted with our bodies.”</p><p>Moira smirked at him deviously, hearing the last bit of his sentence. She then grabbed her phone, though, as she told him, “Okay, just please give me a moment to make a decision on this chaise lounge.”</p><p>“Oh, put the phone down, Moira. Whatever it is can wait,” he said, exhausted by his futile efforts to get her to think about anything else, and with the continued chatter about Cabaret. He wanted to kill Jocelyn for putting this entire fiasco together.</p><p>“It’s for Fraulein Schneider’s Salon,” she explained. She shifted toward him in her seat, holding her phone out in front of both of them as she asked, “Do you prefer the olive suede to the merlot? Similar texture, but falls apart in emotional complexity.”</p><p>Johnny continued to keep his focus on the road and warned her, “I can’t look right now, Moira. I'm driving.”</p><p>“All right. I’ll hold it up for you,” Moira compromised, holding it out in front of his face now.</p><p>“No, Moira, I can’t right now.”</p><p>“It’s just a quick glance, John!” she nearly shrieked at him.</p><p>Feeling defeated in more areas than one, he finally succumbed to her nonsense. “All right, then you need to hold it straighter,” he told her, glancing at it quickly. “Well, I like the merlot, but it’s up to you. You have the eye for these things, you know that.”</p><p>Moira just pursed her lips at him, taking her phone back. “Perhaps, but I appreciate your perspective— oh, John! Be careful!” she cried, interrupting her own thoughts as she saw a creature on the side of the road.</p><p>The little thing ran across the street, just barely making it, and Johnny slowed down a bit to make sure it crossed safely. “That was a cat! Who allows their pet to wander around outside like that?” he questioned, shaking his head.</p><p>Moira pointed to the farmhouse that they were just about to and said, “Perhaps those ailurophobes left their kitty out to play on the busy highway,” she pouted, before turning her phone off and plopping it into her bag along with her notebook and script. “Hopefully it makes it home okay.”</p><p>“I hope so, too,” he said, taking note that she no longer had her phone in her hand. A tiny smile formed on his face as he asked, “Are you all mine now? No more checking emails or texts or taking calls or studying set design?”</p><p>She, too, gave him a soft smile. “Not until later, John. I’m all yours,” she promised with a gentle nod.</p><p>*</p><p>They made their way to the spa and once they arrived, Johnny went up to the front desk while Moira stood by his side. “Hi, reservation for Johnny Rose,” he said to the receptionist, grasping Moira’s hand in his own.</p><p>She looked over at him and smiled as the woman typed on the computer. Moira could feel her stomach get light and she wasn’t sure why. She hadn’t felt this feeling in a while; almost like she had butterflies again before a date. But it was nice, she decided. She was excited to spend some alone time with her husband.</p><p>“Mr. and Mrs. Rose, please follow me,” the receptionist finally said with a smile, before they followed her back to a room. “You can change into these robes and visit the sauna while you wait. We’ve had a few staff members call out on us today, so it might take a little longer to get to your couples massage,” she explained.</p><p>“That’s fine, thank you,” Johnny said with a nod before the woman left and Moira looked at him, annoyed.</p><p>“How long, John? I have to get back to the drudgery of Cabaret. You know Jocelyn was not cut out for directing and designing something of this nature,” she explained with a pout.</p><p>“Moira, we decided to take the day to do this. Can we please just try to enjoy it without thinking about the play? Or Jocelyn for that matter?”</p><p>Moira sighed. “I suppose for you I can.”</p><p>Johnny gave her a smile and began to undress, and Moira followed suit. He caught a glimpse of his wife without her clothing on before she was able to wrap her robe around her body, and his breath caught in his throat. Even after forty years of marriage, the mere sight of her, clothing or not, made his heart race and it caused him to smile. He was still completely in love with Moira, if not more so now.</p><p>“You’re breathtaking,” he commented, unable to keep his comment to himself.</p><p>Moira looked at him and shook her head. “You’re too kind, John. You don’t need to flatter me.”</p><p>“I’m not,” he promised, tying his robe’s belt around his body and moving closer to her, touching her bare shoulders with his arms. “You’re just as beautiful as the day I met you.”</p><p>She gave him a thankful, loving glance and then pulled her robe onto her body. “Are you trying to become reacquainted with my body?”</p><p>He grinned wildly at her. “Perhaps. Would you like that?”</p><p>“I think I’d like to have a spa treatment before we’re kicked off of the premises for indecent exposure, Mr. Rose,” she said playfully, smirking at him. “Can we at least get our massage first?”</p><p>“I suppose so. You’ll make it worth my while later?” he teased.</p><p>Moira tilted her head slightly, her curls bouncing lightly as she did. “I will. Perhaps I’ll even offer you a happy ending before we go,” she winked at him before moving to the door and grabbing the handle, pretending like she said nothing out of the ordinary to her husband. “Let’s head to the sauna, John.”</p><p>Johnny’s mouth was open in surprise at her promise, but he smiled to himself before taking the door from her and holding it open. “After you, Mrs. Rose.”</p><p>*</p><p>The sauna was hot, and Moira was excited that they were the only ones in the room. She untied the belt around her robe and sat dangerously close to her husband, giving him a little show, pretending she was doing no such thing.</p><p>“John, it’s stifling in here, I can’t sit with a robe on,” she enunciated, leaning backward, allowing her arms to hold her up, her breasts exposed to him in quite a pose.</p><p>“You’re naughty,” he said simply, his mouth practically watering as he looked at her. The robe was falling off of her body and she looked like some sort of Grecian goddess. He could not believe how gorgeous she was, although he could argue that she was always stunning. But something about spending the day together had him hot and bothered, and this was certainly not helping.</p><p>“You’re the one who can’t keep his eyes to himself,” she glanced at him, peeking one eye open at him and catching his gaze. She knew exactly what she was doing, but she liked the idea of him looking at her. It made her feel so attractive, and after hearing about Cheryl dragging Johnny to Elmdale to view a collection of nude photographs with her recently, she craved his attention in this way.</p><p>He slid a bit closer to her, leaning over to her ear and whispering, “Maybe I don’t want to keep my eyes to myself.”</p><p>“How about your hands?” she asked lowly, turning her head so that her lips met his now.</p><p>They kissed slowly, softly. It was tender and full of love, but Moira slipped her tongue into his mouth and let him know she was ready for more. He reached over and cupped her breast with his hand, groping lightly as Moira moaned into his mouth.</p><p>“Moira, we can’t here,” he said in between kisses, playing with a ripened nipple, almost ignoring his own words.</p><p>“I know,” she confirmed, disregarding her statement as she grabbed the back of his head to keep it in place as she continued to kiss him.</p><p>As time passed, she moved her body on top of his as they made out and he used both hands on her breasts while she ground her body over his thigh. Johnny finally broke their kisses, moving down her neck and sucking at her pulse point as Moira bit her lip to keep herself from crying out at the overwhelming sensation.</p><p>“Fuck,” she mewled at him, trying to catch her breath from the intense kisses and now his mouth on her neck.</p><p>“Shh,” he warned, nipping at her lips sweetly. “Don’t get us in trouble,” he grinned before getting back to kissing her neck for another moment, and then moving down to her breasts, taking a rosy nipple into his mouth as she ran her fingers through his hair.</p><p>“Mr. and Mrs. Rose, you can come with me if you’re ready for your massages,” they heard through the door, jumping back from each other as Moira quickly tied her robe together again. Moira’s cheeks were flushed and Johnny grinned at her as he watched her react.</p><p>“You think you can hold it together for a massage?” he teased quietly as they walked toward the door.</p><p>“Mmm, I don’t think I’m the one who has to reign it in, Mr. Rose,” she said with a smirk, looking down below the waist of his robe, seeing the telltale sign that he was just as turned on as she was during their stint in the sauna.</p><p>*</p><p>The deep tissue massages were nice enough, and they both actually felt at peace throughout the experience. When they were done, the masseuses exited and left Johnny and Moira, who still laid on the massage tables, alone to get dressed.</p><p>“Do you feel relaxed, sweetheart?” Johnny asked softly, squeezing her hand gently. They had reached out for one another during their massages and held hands for the last seven or eight minutes of their session. They’d been told to take their time getting up and ready to leave, and they were savoring just laying there, on the tables for a moment.</p><p>“I do, John. Have you been appropriately alleviated of any tension your body was bolstering?” she asked, her voice muffled a bit, her face still down in the hole of the bed, recovering from the hands of her masseuse that took all of her stress away.</p><p>“Just about,” he told her, watching her for a moment as she turned her head to look at him.</p><p>“Just about? How can I help, John? I want you to feel as relaxed as possible,” she nearly purred, now remembering exactly what she had been feeling before walking into the room they were currently inside of.</p><p>“We could finish what we started in the sauna,” he told her with a wry smile and she bit her lip, liking this idea almost as much as she had liked fooling around with him in the area prior to moving for their massages.</p><p>“You can’t get loud, Johnny,” she warned, a smile creeping up on her face as well.</p><p>“I don’t think you’ll have to worry about me as much as you should be cautious of your own mouth,” he played, though he wasn’t wrong. Out of the two of them, Moira tended to get obnoxiously loud while they had sex and Johnny held it together pretty well most of the time.</p><p>Moira sat up now and hopped off of the table she had been laying on. She moved to his and motioned for him to turn over so that his torso was facing the ceiling. “I promised you a happy ending,” she reminded him quietly, untying his robe slowly, revealing his erection underneath. “Oh, did Susan’s hands get you hard, Johnny?” she teased.</p><p>He chuckled lowly, causing her to become aroused again. “No, it wasn’t Susan who did this,” he told her, surprised that she remembered the name of the masseuse who gave him his massage. “It was my beautiful, sexy wife.”</p><p>Moira reached out to touch him, running her hands over his pelvic region, up and down his thighs, before grasping his cock in her hands and playing with his length as he got harder in her touch. “Was it? You didn’t take a pill?”</p><p>He looked flustered for a moment as she continued her motion. He swallowed visibly, trying to remain in control even though he was enjoying the feeling her hands were causing, and truthfully said, “Why would I take a pill before the spa, Moira? I wasn’t expecting this to happen.”</p><p>“Hmm,” her eyes shifted, instead of a shrug as her arms were busy. “Guess I could stop,” she offered, slowing her movements, but not ceasing completely.</p><p>“No!” he practically yelled as Moira pursed her lips in a smile.</p><p>“No?” she played, leaning over him now, planting a kiss on the tip of his shaft. “Should I use my mouth? Maybe that’ll help you… release that tension,” she cooed.</p><p>“I think it would definitely help,” he nodded rapidly.</p><p>She smirked at him and took his throbbing cock into her mouth, sucking lightly before she began to move up and down his length as he groaned at the sensation. She moved faster as she heard his breathing change, savoring the time she had with him.</p><p>Moira had expected this, when he offered her a spa day. She knew that when she saw him change into his robe, she would lose all self control. She wanted him to make the first move, and she was glad when he did, but she wanted to satisfy him above all else while they had the time alone together. Giving him a run for his money first, though, had just been for fun.</p><p>She finally felt him twitch in her mouth and then he tried to pull away from her.</p><p>“Moira,” he warned quietly but breathlessly. </p><p>But she wanted him to come as she continued to pleasure him. He finally did and she eventually cleaned him up, fondling him gently as she did so.</p><p>When she eventually moved away from him, he grabbed her and pulled her over to him, kissing her passionately, tasting himself on her lips and in her mouth. “Jesus,” he breathed, exhausted from it all as she smiled at him.</p><p>“So good,” he said, caressing her face softly. “I want to taste you; are you wet?”</p><p>She nodded at him, but grimaced. “I don’t think we have time, John.”</p><p>“No, we have time. Believe me, you deserve this, my love.”</p><p>Moira kissed him and he sat up, leading her back to where she had been laying before, helping her back up, assisting her in maneuvering her legs up beside where her hips now rested, and knelt down before the end of the table so he was right where he needed to be in order to return the favor.</p><p>“Oh, John, your knees,” she noted, but he shook his head.</p><p>“They’re fine. I just want to do this,” he told her, kissing her inner thighs as she squirmed, unsure if she could watch him without losing it or if she should just lay back. He must’ve read her mind, though, because the next thing she knew, he was telling her, “Stay, I want to see your face when you come.”</p><p>Moira nodded at him and felt his tongue travel up her slit and land on her clit.</p><p>He kissed over her, sucking at her sensitive flesh as she groaned, tipping her head back in sheer ecstasy. Johnny began to lap at her core and Moira bit her lip to keep herself quiet. Her fingernails sunk into the fabric of the bed, whining quietly as he edged her closer to her orgasm.</p><p>He inserted a couple of fingers inside of her, gently thrusting as Moira continued to moan as quietly as she could, and eventually she willed herself to sit back up so that he could see her expression like he wanted, as she felt the fire burn in her abdomen right before she came.</p><p>Johnny laced his fingers through hers as he watched her face contort with satisfaction, and when he had lovingly lapped up her nectar, he stood up slowly and kissed her lips. “So beautiful,” he commented in between kisses.</p><p>She wrapped her arms around him, wanting to hold him for a moment, before she decided it was probably time to get ready to leave. </p><p>“I’m not done with you, though,” he told her quietly. “I know we need to leave, but I want to fuck you before we go.”</p><p>Her eyes twinkled at his words. “Let me be on top,” she said, allowing him to move back to his bed, offering her a hand as she climbed up on top of him. She was already wet again from the suggestion, and felt that he was hard again, too. She used one hand to guide him into her, and the other was entangled in his hand. His free hand held her waist softly, wanting her to be comfortable so that they could both enjoy their afternoon tryst.</p><p>She adjusted to him, leaning down to kiss him, and then began to roll her hips over him as he grunted his approval. Her now-free hand ran up and down his abdomen, raking her fingernails over him lightly, and his played with a nipple, pinching gently as she rode him.</p><p>They orgasmed shortly after their breathing became quick, and finally, they both decided they had to get ready to leave. They hurried to put their clothing on and when they were both dressed and ready to go, they headed out to their car.</p><p>Johnny began to drive them back home and asked his wife, “Miss much while you were logged out of your phone for a little bit?”</p><p>He still didn’t understand technology, but that was okay because she didn’t really, either. She looked at him and shrugged. “I wouldn’t know, my phone is still off,” she smiled as he glanced over at her from the drivers side, now smiling, too.</p><p>“You can check it if you want, I just wanted a couple of hours to unwind with you, sweetheart.”</p><p>“Oh, I plan to fully unwind again when we get home,” she grinned at him deviously, as his eyes widened with delight.</p><p>“I like the sound of that,” he told her happily, before she leaned over to kiss his cheek, a physical ‘thank you’ for suggesting they spend some much needed time together in the midst of the chaos that was Cabaret.</p><p>Moira laced her fingers through his on the hand resting on the shifting gear, silently reminding him that while they had their fun at the spa and would again when they returned to their room, the best part about the day was soaking in the time she had with her husband. That, she decided, was even more exciting and wonderful than any secret rendezvous they could engage in, in a public facility.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>happy happy birthday @Bubbles20, thank you for all of your support &amp; your friendship! xo</p></blockquote></div></div>
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